The Best (And Worst) Ways To Spend Your Money This Year


We work.  We make money. We pay bills. Sometimes, we have a little extra leftover for our “mad” money.  And according to the deluge of commercials, EVERYONE wants those hard-earned morsels, too.

How we choose to spend our money is no one else’s business, right?  Okay, I’ll give you that.  So why do WE choose to spend our money on certain things and not others? Goals? All the feels? Whatever you’re answer is, allow me to interject one more reason; your life and your well-being.

Think I’m being dramatic?  I don’t.  People everyday  walk around clueless as to how predators view them, what they’re looking for in easy prey, and in turn get lulled into a false sense of security.  Ignorance is bliss?  Not in this case.

It’s always been a point of frustration for me that not everyone, not even close to everyone, is concerned about their own personal safety. Reports of shootings, rapes, and home invasions go unnoticed on the morning / evening news, even when they occur in hometown settings.  But those same people who skirt past those stories could without hesitation tell you the latest styles or what’s happening in the world of pop news.

Let me preface this by saying that people who answer ‘yes’ to the question of whether they think personal safety training is necessary but put no actual preparation behind it don’t count in the ‘I care’ category to  me.  Lipservice coupled with, “but I’m just so busy” or the ever popular excuse, “I don’t have the money right now” is simply dodging the issue and postponing the necessary training for after they have been attacked. I’ve seen this far too often.

Now I love to be happy, and I do periodically buy minutia that will serve as no real solution to the violence that surrounds us daily. It’s nice to get caught up in happy thoughts, and we need balance in our lives especially if you do think about personal safety for a living.   But I was curious as to what minutia was readily available to me via online shopping.  So I started poking around and here’s what I found:

  1. I could take a two-hour cooking class for $85.
  2. A new handbag would set me back somewhere between $65 (Nine West) – $300 (Marc Jacobs).
  3. New shoes at a national department store cost anywhere from $65 (Dr. Schol’s!) to $89-$109 (Calvin Klein, Steve Madden, Michael Kors).
  4. A new outfit from Lula Roe will set you back around $85 (on the lower end).
  5. Artificial nails cost around $50, and to have them balanced and newly polished is another $50 every 3-4 weeks.
  6. And oh, the ever-popular wine and paint party is a mere $35 for three hours of blissful painting (wine sold separately and I’ll leave you to fill in that amount).

Like I said before, I’m all for having fun, but don’t patronize an instructor by telling them you just don’t have the money when you’ve just participated in one of the above listed expenditures (or something similar).  What that tells me is that you, for whatever reason, don’t think your safety training is a priority. It also tells me that I take your safety more seriously than you do.

Waiting (while popular) until after the attack happens in your neighborhood or to your friends / family  is not optimal. What if you learned how to drive a car right before you had to take a cross-country road trip? Answer:  You’d make a crap-ton of mistakes and you would feel unsure about your decisions.  When you are fighting for your life do you want that same feeling? Doubtful.

I’ve had far too many people who have been assaulted come to me for training after the fact and share what has happened to even count.  I’m proud to have created a training environment where people are able to feel safe, learn how to fight back, and share their experiences.  This is the main reason for the decision to create the studio.  But it makes me very angry that the trend for the most part is to seek training only after there’s been a wake-up call.

I am one of those people; perhaps I am like you.  I was sexually assaulted my freshman year of college.  I wasn’t prepared.  But I can help you to be better prepared than I was so that you don’t have to endure what I did.  Man or woman; it doesn’t matter.  Sexual orientation doesn’t matter. Race doesn’t matter. Age doesn’t matter. We can all be placed in that ‘vulnerable’ group, but we all need to be responsible for moving ourselves to the ‘prepared’ group.

So wake up, put that minutia-laden purchase down, and get into a training workshop (  I have just become your loudest wake-up call that WON’T. . .SHUT. . .UP.

You’re welcome.


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The Trigger Press, Uncategorized

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